Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Do vagina's smell?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
