Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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