If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I would fuck him just for his dog
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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