I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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