just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
