real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
