it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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