Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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