i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
