"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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