Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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