please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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