Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
