so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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