I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
