If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
