super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just had sex bonerless
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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