thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
