my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize
