quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
