Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
These tits shall not be calmed
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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