i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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