You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
