i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
