Whod you bang
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
