the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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