Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
