ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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