There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
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