an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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