how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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