it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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