You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Randomize
