how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
