I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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