so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
