it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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