Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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