I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
They have beer where we have blood.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
