I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
