I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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