the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize