This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
