drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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