I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He? As in you personified your dick?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
