We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
