I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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