Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
