Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
