dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
