Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
