one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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