How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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