We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
