so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
