Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
