Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
