I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
