the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
