Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize